A Song For the Broken Hearted

I have a heart.
It is bigger than most.
It’s been broken and stepped on,
But was still full of hope.
Now I’ll keep it with me,
I’ve left it before,
I’ve lent it to others
But I won’t anymore

I think it’s the last time
this has to be it.
I swore I’d be careful —
be more careful with it.
But I never saw you coming
You surprised me with this
And although I knew better
I let go of it

I let go of it, and
I gave it to you,
And now I am holding
A heart broken in two
I’ve fixed it before
And I’ll do it again.
I love you so much
But this is the end.

You can say that I pushed you
But you know that’s a lie
I was doing just fine
And was willing to try.
To try loving and waiting
And giving you time
I don’t understand
How I misread the signs.

But I’ll mend my sweet heart
Put it back in my chest
I should’ve known better–
known better than this
And I’ll lock it away
This big heart of mine
Cuz I know I can’t take it
I can’t take one more time.

Still, make no mistake
I’ll take longer to mend
Because coming from you
This feels like the end–
The end of me trying
The end of my hope
You didn’t really kill it,
But you handed me the rope.

So life will go on
Like it always has before
And I will forget you
And forget you some more.
Remember I loved you
And remember I tried
I gave you my big heart
And you pushed it aside.

A Poem About My Car

My car is the hugest mess.
coffee filters
cracker crumbs
underwear and old dingdongs
cigarettes and soda cans
a feather bed
a chinese fan
cotton candy
a pair of socks
the three bears, and
Goldilocks
mashed up french fries
a broken fish
an old cd
my neighbor’s dish

You’d think some day I’d clean it up.
You’d think some day I’d be enough.
Enough of me to work.
to write.
Then some left over
to change that light.
Enough of me to sing to you.
To do your hair,
Then do mine too.
to wash our clothes
and still have time
to read to you some nursery rhymes.

–written 8/24/1998