Derailed. Six Weeks Later…

It’s been six weeks since my last post. According to my original timeline, I should have completed the project five weeks ago. It was ten weeks ago that I found out about what happened to her. It’s been ten weeks since I learned my daughter had been the victim of a very serious physical assault at the hands of her then boyfriend. It’s been ten weeks since I felt remotely close to being “myself.”

He went to jail. My daughter is safe and recovering from the trauma. I have been through a lot in my life, but nothing as horrifying as what she went through. I wish I could have traded her places and spared her the pain. I have never felt so much rage or sorrow in my life. I have never experienced such deep feelings of utter futility and inadequacy.

On the other hand, I am in awe of Hannah’s resilience and at the way everyone has come forward to voice their support for her. I would like to thank the Salt Lake County D.A.’s office and the fine men and women of the South Jordan police department. This is the first time in my life that everyone has surpassed my expectations and acted on behalf of someone I loved to the best of their abilities.

Hannah and I would not have made it through these last ten weeks without the constant support from my parents, my siblings (especially Nan and Erika), our friends, and most of all, Hannah’s dad, Shaun.

Next week Hannah leaves for the summer away with my family. She’ll be spending time with people who love her and can help her to accomplish some of the goals she’s laid out for herself. I will be resuming my quest to “shuck the superfluous shit.” I will miss her terribly, and it may prove to be too much — who knows, maybe I’ll join her — but for now, I am happy for her. I am so proud of her. She is becoming the woman she was meant to become.

And to Hannah, I love you. Be safe. Be brave. Be joyful. — love, mom.


Filed under Dreams, Moving On

4 responses to “Derailed. Six Weeks Later…

  1. Sounds like the past 6 weeks have been a severe course in shucking the superfluous shit (and probably a lot of necessary shit too). Sorry for your family, but I’m glad that your daughter had the support she needed.

    • Thank you for your support! I can’t believe this myself, but I only have a few boxes of “keepsakes” to go through before the yard sale. I am missing Hannah very much, but trying to press on and accomplish this goal!!

  2. I’m so sorry about your what happened to your daughter. I know exactly those feelings you described, rage, sorrow, futility…. When my daughter was 16, and only 7 days into a program of living and going to school in Italy, a man took her. She got away but my mind was filled with what could have happened. She was brave and wanted to stay in Italy and didn’t want to let this incident ruin her plans but it affected her, and all of us, her family, deeply. She’s 21 now and I know that it still comes to her mind and changed who she is as a person. Good luck to your daughter. I’m sure she is deep and strong like you and will come through this. Good luck to you, Rebecca.

    • Wow! I cannot imagine what it must’ve felt like to be so far away from your daughter when such a scary thing happened. One thing I know, now even more than I did before, is that our daughters are strong! Thank you for your kind words.


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